


Rejection

by coley_wog



Series: Redacted [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Gen, Kuron and Shiro (Voltron) Share a Body
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:41:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24253783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coley_wog/pseuds/coley_wog
Summary: Pidge and Shiro discuss his connection to the Black Lion... or lack thereof.
Relationships: Pidge | Katie Holt & Shiro
Series: Redacted [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1224614
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Rejection

“Sooo... What’s the deal with you and Black?” 

“Hm?” Shiro turned away from the stars outside Green’s view port to look at the younger paladin. They’d been chatting on and off most of the day to pass the long hours on the flight home. She’d done most of the talking, telling Shiro about this project or that while he’d nodded and asked clarifying questions or made an occasional joke. Sometimes he’d tell a story. Something from before all this--his time in the garrison or his childhood. Something safe. Occasionally they talked navigation, checking star charts and adjusting course for a faster voyage. But they were also both content to sit quietly in each other’s company, lost in their own thoughts. They’d been enjoying one such comfortable silence when Pidge had suddenly broken it. 

“You and Black. What’s the deal?” 

Shiro pressed his lips thin before turning back to the view port. “I’m not sure I follow.” 

“C’mon, don’t give me that. I know you’re still recovering or whatever so I guess you might not wanna start flying immediately, but...” She fidgeted in her seat, tapping the control sticks. “I dunno, you’ve been really spacing out a lot lately and... It’s worse when you’re looking at Black.” 

Shiro let out a heavy sigh and scrubbed his face with his remaining hand. _Now you decide to pay attention_. The bitter thought rose unbidden and he pushed it aside as best he could before turning to face her with a patient smile. “It’s kind of hard to explain.” 

“In what way?” 

He sighed once more and shook his head. “Well, Pidge, I’m assuming you’ve never been dead before.” 

Pidge shrank back, eyeing him warily. “No.” 

“Good. But that makes it hard to explain how it feels... to be pulled out of your own tomb...” He leaned back on a panel and gripped the side as Pidge watched intently, waiting for him to continue “...and being able to just... walk back into it.” _And to stand in your final resting place, where you remember your body burning and breaking down into so much star dust. To feel the pull of that infinite starry plane every time calling you back because you were never meant to leave._ He thought it best to leave those parts out. 

Pidge’s eyes widened and quickly darted down to her lap. When she spoke, her voice was very small, “right... Is that... Why you were so eager to join me in Green?” 

_Noticed that too, huh?_ “Well, that’s part of it, but I also wanted to hang out and catch up with you.” He did his best to smile reassuringly and add some levity into his words.

She nodded, but kept her head down. “Does that mean... You don’t want to pilot Black anymore?” 

_Yes. No._ “It’s complicated. But I don’t really have a say in the matter. Black’s pulled out.” 

That got her to look up, eyes narrowed. “Pulled... Out?” 

“The bond. You know how you can feel your bond with Green in the back of your mind even when you’re not flying?” She nodded. “Well, Black pulled out of it. I can barely feel her anymore.” 

She looked devastated. “What?! Why?!” 

He shrugged and turned his head to the stars, trying to show that it was no big deal. And while a small part of him felt relieved, his heart still ached at the loss. “I think she’s afraid--maybe even more afraid than I am--that what happened before could happen again. It wasn’t her fault, and she’s the reason I’m alive now, but she still blames herself for my death. I could feel her guilt while inside Voltron’s quintessence... Also, I was a part of that quintessence for so long... well, I still feel it ‘tugging’ on me through what’s left of our bond. Almost like I could just fall back into it if I wasn’t careful. So when Black let me out, she locked the door behind me.” 

She listened wide-eyed and then turned to the window. She was quiet for a while, chewing her lip while she processed and filed away everything he’d told her. “So she broke the bond to protect you.” 

_She didn’t have to do that. I can still fly her!_ Shiro just nodded stiffly. He didn’t want to talk about this anymore. _You know this is for the best. We’ve done our job. Keith’s finally coming into his own as a leader._ It made him so conflicted. _My bond with her was the only thing I could still call my own, wasn’t it?_ He gripped the panel harder. _Please don’t. Not right now._

“Shiro?” Pidge’s concerned voice yanked him back to reality. She’d probably been calling him a few times and he hadn’t noticed. Shit. “You okay? You spaced out again and looked really upset for a sec there. I mean, I guess that’s kind of a dumb question. Of course you’d be upset about this. I can’t even imagine how I’d feel if Green broke it off like that. Not to mention the whole being dead thing. Nothing about about any of this is--”

“I’m okay, Pidge,” he cut in. She was rambling, which meant she was nervous, because he’d let the mask slip. He pinched the bridge of his nose and silently berated himself. “I just... I’m just a bit tired I guess.” It wasn’t a complete lie. 

Pidge gave him a scrutinizing look he didn’t much care for before turning her eyes forward again, but thankfully didn’t call his bluff. “It is getting close to ‘nighttime.’ You want to turn in early?” 

“That’s not a bad idea. Good night, Pidge.” He offered her an amiable smile and headed towards the door, but halfway there, she called out to him again. 

“Hey, Shiro?” 

He turned back to face her, and she was peeking out from behind her chair. She looked almost shy, like a kid asking their parents if a friend can stay the night. He couldn’t help smiling a little wider at the image. “Yes?” 

“Um...” She bit her lip and squeezed the armrest. “I’m sorry.” 

He frowned. “For what?”

“About Black. I...” She huffed a sigh. “I know how much you loved... Being her paladin.” 

To his horror, his eyes stung at the remark. He closed them and swallowed tightly. “It’s fine,” he managed, hoping his smile didn’t look as forced as it felt. “Nothing to be done about it now, and it definitely isn’t your fault.” 

She stared at him intently for a moment with an unreadable expression. Then she nodded, eyes downcast, and shifted back into her seat. “Good night, Shiro.” Her voice sounded smaller for some reason. 

“Night,” he said as he stepped out of the cockpit and toward the makeshift bedrooms. 

_Nothing to be done about it now._


End file.
